Her First Arab Wedding Event

Lucy had lots of firsts last week! On Friday night, I was invited to a friend's Milka. (I'm still not 100% sure what the "milka" is... It's like an engagement party...but after this event, the bride and groom are technically married...but they don't live together yet. They're just allowed to be together to get their house ready and to get to know each other. Then, in a few months, there will be an actual wedding and after that, they will live together as husband and wife. Sheesh!) 

I told Lucy that I was going to a wedding party and she said she wanted to go with me. So... I dressed her up in a new "fancy" dress that a friend gave us from TZ and off we went!

(The boys stayed home. Aren't they cute?)

We went to my friend's house first to pick up her and her daughter. We spent about an hour and a half at my friend's house... waiting... they weren't even dressed when we got there - and we got there an hour and a half later than she originally told me to come! Oh, Arab timing.

So, around 9 or 9:30, we headed to the wedding tent where the festivities were taking place. My friend told me that it wasn't going to be loud with a DJ, like Arab weddings usually are - and when I say "loud" I mean ear piercing, ladies wincing, no conversations happening loud. Painful. And once we arrived, yes, I agree that it wasn't quite that loud. But it was a lot louder than anything Lucy's ever been to! And she was not a fan!

 She spent a great part of the night laying like this on my lap. Ears covered - or making me cover her ears.

Let me paint the scene: It's a big tent - BIG - and there are 50-60 women in very brightly-colored dresses and lots of makeup sitting around the edges, greeting each other, and dancing in the middle. They are dancing around about 5 women who are playing drums and singing in Swahili. I'm guessing they are traditional wedding songs because I've heard the same songs at every Swahili wedding I've been to. The ladies tie a brightly-colored piece of fabric (a kanga) around their hips and basically walk around in a circle around the ladies who are singing/drumming, all the while shaking their hips. And they always, ALWAYS, try to get me to come up with them. I did it once a few years ago because I was dragged up there...and then I heard the Swahili lady singer say, "Mzungu" in the microphone, which means "white person" and I was afraid of what they might be saying - "Hey, look we got a crazy white lady to come up here and dance! She's not really shaking it! Look at the white lady!" - so I quickly sat down. And I won't be dragged up there again! :) I stand out enough as it is!

*Let's pause...It's funny and  hard for me to try to explain these events to you. They are so different than anything we do in the USA. Seriously. It's hard to put this into words.*

By about 10, my friend (the bride) actually arrived and made her grand entrance. She goes up and sits down (why haven't we in the US figured out that the bride should get to SIT DOWN? Genius. Those shoes aren't comfortable!) on what I can only describe as a throne that's been decorated especially for her.

After we greeted the bride, my friend's sister-in-law, we took a few pictures and then I used Lucy as an excuse to leave! It was already past 10:00 and Lucy was tired. I was tired. So we left.

What happens next (It's the same at every Milka): At some point after the bride arrives, the groom arrives, sometimes by himself, but usually with his family/friends. It's another big processional, but this time, EVERY WOMAN in the tent covers herself up. The bride actually covers up, too. The groom gets to sit down on the throne and then the rest of the men leave. Only then does the bride uncover her head, but all other women stay covered. Then, the food. Yep, it's pushing midnight by this point, but there's a huge catered meal. Heavy meal. Yummy meal. And then usually as soon as the food is served and eaten, most everyone leaves. And it's a FAST and MASSIVE exodus! 

And that's a milka. The actual wedding isn't much different. But it's always festive & everyone's always in a new dress! 

After we got home, we had to have a photo shoot.