Reflections on a Loss

As you may or may not know, we've suffered a great loss recently. I know that most of you know loss in one form or another. It's a part of life. It's hard. It can be ugly. And it takes time to get over.

Tonight, I sat in front of my closest local friend's house and wept. See, a few weeks ago, she told me that her in-laws (whose house she and her hubby and kiddos live in) no longer want us to visit anymore. We aren't welcome in their house. (If you're lost, please go read this post and then continue). She made it abundantly clear that both she and her husband do not feel this way; that they are saddened by this news; that we are like family to them and they don't agree with their blood relation family in this decision.

But. In this culture. What can they do? Nothing.

They live under M's mom's rules. It's technically her house, even though M is the oldest son and his father is dead, so in effect, he's the "man of the house." She is the matriarch. What she says goes.

So, tonight, as I pulled up to their house for the first time since hearing this news, I sat there and wept. I haven't grieved this loss properly yet. This family has been like our family here for the past 4 years. We've done everything with them - ALL of them. Weddings, births of children, parties, holidays - both theirs and ours, gift giving, grieving, celebrating, so much laughing, picture taking...My mom and sister both visited them and we take all of our US friends to meet this family.

But not anymore.

At first, I'm sad over my own loss. What I'll miss. What I can't do anymore. The fact that I can't sit with these ladies in their home and talk and laugh and look at pictures and talk about our faiths anymore. That Lucy can't run around their house anymore like she's one of their own.

Then, I'm deeply saddened again because I know that in rejecting me and Brad, they are actually rejecting Jesus Christ. I know that when we are in their home they can tell we are different. They know we are followers of Jesus. They know that we live our lives differently and they can see it. They've heard it from us for 4 YEARS! 

And that's what they're rejecting. And I know I'm told to shake the dust off my feet and move on...but God also knows that I'm human and it hurts my heart to move on. But, I will.

Our closest friends, M & his wife N, have not rejected us. God has not released us from hanging out with them or sharing our lives with them and most importantly, sharing the TRUTH with them. So, share with them, we will. Love them, we will.

Respect the Mom's wishes - we will.

And hopefully, in our responses, M & N will see Christ. This is our chance to shine Jesus like never before. Lord, help us to be obedient. And make us SHINEY with Your Truth!

But for tonight, I'm grieving.